The Godfather
by cresmoon
Summary: This is my very first time using ff.net AND writing an HP fic - hope y'all like it. This takes place when Harry is a few months old and Remus and Sirius babysit(before *the* tragic event). And since I didn't put a disclaimer in the text, HP isn't mine, i


The Godfather

Sirius was nervous. He'd never babysat anyone before. Did Remus know what he was getting them into?

"I don't think we should do this, Moony," said Sirius nervously pulled at the cloak around his shoulders.

"Oh come on, Padfoot, it's a great idea! Think of it-"

"But we don't know anything about kids. Don't you remember what happened the last time you watched a baby?"

Remus snickered. How easily Sirius forgot. "Don't you mean the last time _you_ watched a baby?"

Sirius frowned. He could have sworn it was Remus's idea..."That was NOT my fault and you know it. How was I supposed to know that the boy would be allergic to that stuff? Muggles use it on their babies all the time!"

Remus snorted. "How you could ever think something called 'talcum power' is safe to put on the derriere of an innocent child is beyond me."

"That's talcum _powder_, not power! Now shut up and get a move on, we're going to be late."

Sirius grabbed a pinch from the pouch of floo powder Remus was holding and stepped into the fireplace. "Godric's Hollow!" Yes, James and Lily Potter were his best friends in the entire world and yes, infant Harry was one of the cutest babies he'd ever seen. And yes, he'd promised to baby-sit while Lily and James went out and celebrated their first night out since Harry was born. But what was it he'd heard once say about taking care of babies? Ah yes...don't do it. 

***

"Lily, can we please go? I'd like to get going before Harry celebrates his own silver anniversary," James Potter's impatient voice rang out as he gently nudged his wife toward the door. 

"Don't even joke about that!" Lily shrieked, pushing Sirius out of the way to check on Harry one final time. No one was more anxious about leaving Harry with Remus and Sirius than Lily herself, no matter how much she needed a break. But then she was his mother. Worse yet, Sirius was, well, Sirius: the same man who'd once said that babies ought to be registered with the Improper Use of Magic Office for all the trouble they caused. 

Baby Harry was happily gurgling in his crib, ignoring everyone around him. Just as well, thought Sirius. If Harry was going to be this quiet all evening, he had no reservations about babysitting. Just to be on the safe side though, he'd ignored Remus's protests and brought along a pair of magical earplugs ("guaranteed to block out even the shrillest goblin screams or your sickles back!")

"Well, are you two going to leave or what?" Remus was watching the whole scene in amusement.

"We'll be back in about 3 hours, no more than 4 at the most...and by the way, I should tell you that - hey!" Lily cried out as James finally shoved her through the open door and whirled around to face Sirius and Remus. 

"Have fun you two, " said James grinning. "And don't worry. Harry doesn't bite...most of the time."

Something about his tone suddenly made Sirius wary. "What was she going to say?" He eyed Prongs suspiciously. He knew that grin too well.

"Who?" Now even Remus looked up from Harry's crib. James's innocent tone didn't fool him. 

"Lily. Wasn't she going to warn us about something?" 

"Was she? Sorry but I have no idea what she was talking about." James was still grinning. Was it his imagination or did the grin look evil? "Anyway, we'd better head off now. Bye!" Before any of them could say another word, James was gone.

"I guess it's just the 3 of us now-"

The quiet room was suddenly interrupted with tears. Loud, bawling tears. Harry had started to cry. And Sirius _was_ ready to cry. "ACK! He's crying!!!"

"You're so perceptive, Padfoot." Remus smirked. Sirius whirled around and glared at him. 

"Do something, Moony, he's crying! He could be hungry! Or thirsty! Or sleepy! Feed him or, or, or water him or put him to sleep! Or maybe he's-"

"_Water_ him?? He's not a plant, you prat, he's a baby. And he's just crying because Lily and James left and they've never left him before and he misses them," said Remus as he gently picked up Harry in his arms. "Don't worry, he'll stop crying soon."

_Soon_, however, was not the word which either Sirius or even Remus would use to describe how long Harry would continue to cry. They kept passing the baby to each other, whispering whatever soothing words they could but to no avail. Harry continued to cry.

"We've got to do something! Maybe he's sick! Maybe he should go to the hospital! Maybe-"

"Would you please calm down and snap out of it," Remus said. Sirius stared at him. How could he remain so calm? He didn't know. Secretly, Sirius had always marveled at how Moony, a werewolf, could always keep such a level head. Yes, werewolves were only maniacal during the full moon, but still. Why was he always so calm, even approaching the full moon? He was never like women around "the time"? Except that werewolves probably went through PWS (Pre-Wolf Syndrome?)

"I think," said Remus, cradling the still-wailing baby in his arms, "that he needs to be fed and then we'd better put him to sleep."

"But he was sleeping when we got here," said Sirius. 

"Yes, but he needs more sleep," said Remus. "He's a baby. Babies need lots of sleep. Now do me a favor and take him while I go into the kitchen and get some baby food," he said, handing the baby to Sirius, who took him in his arms gently. "And I think we'd better change him, too, before we put him down."

Change the baby? Was Moony nuts? "Are you nuts?!" Sirius yelped. "We can't do that!"

Remus sighed. "What it is now?"

Sirius grinned. So much for thinking that he was the clueless one. Minus one for the more clueless werewolf. "Moony, I know Prongs and Lily are the most open-minded people we know but even still, they are NOT going to let us near Harry ever again if we do it."

It was Remus's turn to look at Sirius as though he were nuts. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

"We can't _change_ Harry!" 

Remus grew even more puzzled still. "Why not? My parents changed me all the time! It's what parents do. Babies have to be changed eventually."

Sirius stared at Moony in shock. "No...are you serious? You poor thing...you mean to let you that your parents transfigured_ you_?"

So that's what he was talking about! Remus couldn't believe it. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. All the time, he was talking about changing the diaper...Sirius had thought he was talking about _transfiguring_ Harry!

Remus burst out laughing. He was relieved that he wasn't holding Harry because he surely would have dropped him. He laughed so hard that he had to hold onto Harry's crib to steady himself while Sirius looked on with an expression of confusion and frustration on his face. Remus finally got a hold of himself. "You silly prat, I was talking about changing his _diaper_! Haven't you ever taken care of a baby before?"

Sirius shrugged, embarrassed, looking away, his face feeling so hot he was sure he was blushing redder than a beet. What was he supposed to know about babies? He'd been an only child. "Okay, okay, so if you're done laughing at me, let's get him fed and to bed," he mumbled, gazing into the baby's face to avoid looking at Remus. Harry had finally stopped crying. Remus nodded quickly and turned away, clearly trying not to laugh anymore. Or at least not till he got to the kitchen and out of earshot, where he could laugh as much as he wanted to.***

Harry had been put down about an hour ago. Sirius sat by the crib, staring at the clock, praying Lily and James would come home soon. He had to face it: he was no good at taking care of babies. Remus sat on the couch reading _Magical Mothers_ magazine, forcing himself to concentrate hard on the words and not look at Sirius or he'd start laughing all over again. He'd already started up once while he'd been in the kitchen warming the baby food with his wand. Sirius had come in with Harry in his arms, demanding to know what was so funny. He'd set Harry down on the counter right next to him. Unfortunately, it was the same counter where more of the baby food jars were stacked and Harry accidentally knocked all the jars on the floor where they broke, making a big mess. A mess which Remus made Sirius clean up while the baby watched, gurgling and laughing as though it were the funniest thing he'd ever seen. 

Now, though, Sirius silently watched as Harry slept peacefully in his crib. He was a beautiful baby even if he did have Prongs's mop of messy black hair. Harry's eyes were a brilliant green, though they were closed right then, of course. His tiny chest raised slowly every time he breathed. Yes, he was lovely. All babies were lovely. NO trouble at all. The trouble was...Sirius. 

Sirius got up and stretched. He walked over and sat next to Remus, who was still avoiding his eyes. Remus didn't look up from the magazine he was reading. He couldn't trust himself to. 

"You want to do something?" said Sirius. 

"What?" Remus finally took his eyes off the magazine but didn't dare look at Sirius.

"I don't know. Play Exploding Snap or something."

"Can't." Remus gestured toward the crib. "We don't want to wake up the baby. Took us forever to get him to go to sleep."

That, however, was no longer a problem as Harry stirred and suddenly burst into sobs again. Remus dropped his magazine on the couch and he and Sirius rushed to the crib. 

"What do we do now?"

"We try and get him back to sleep," said Remus, his tone sounding strained. 

"Sleep?! That's probably the last thing on his mind, the way he's crying!"

"Well, do you have any better ideas?"

"Uh...no," said Sirius sheepishly. Of course he didn't. And of course he couldn't remember a word of what either James or Lily had said about what to do if Harry cried. "_You're_ the expert. What did Prongs say to do if he wouldn't stop crying, do you remember?"

But Remus wasn't listening. For some reason, he'd stuck a finger in Harry's mouth and was peering inside. "What are you doing?" Sirius demanded. "Sticking your hand inside the kid's mouth isn't going to make him shut up."

Remus rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "I think I know why he's crying. This must be what Lily was warning us about earlier."

Sirius's stomach dropped. "What? What is it? What's wrong with him?"

Remus chuckled, startling Sirius. "Nothing's _wrong_ with him," said Remus patiently. "He's teething."

"He's what?" Sirius's voice sounded as though Remus had just told him that Harry was growing snake fangs. 

"Teething. It's when babies-"

"I know what teething is! You've got to be kidding! Tell me you're kidding! Tell me our best friends haven't left us alone with their teething baby!"

"What's the big deal? All babies have to get their teeth eventually-"

"I've heard about babies teething!" Sirius's voice was bordering on hysterics. "It's awful! They yell and scream and cry and run fevers and-"

"His temperature is perfectly normal," interrupted Remus. "He's fine, Padfoot. He's not even that cranky. I've seen other babies teethe and they were much worse than this. Wouldn't stop crying for hours. Harry's not going to be like that, are you Harry?" Remus smiled at the baby, who continued to cry, but a little more softly. 

"So, so he's okay then?" Sirius anxiously rubbed Harry's tiny hand with his. "He's going to be all right?"

"Seems to. He's tired but definitely not running a fever. He might be in a bit of pain, though, because of the teeth coming in but I don't think it's bad enough that we need to give him something for it. I'm sure Lily would have warned us about it if it was that bad." Remus checked Harry's mouth again. "I think he's just in the very beginning stages of teething. You can hardly even see the teeth." Remus chuckled again.

"What's so funny?"

"I just remembered what Prongs said before he left. Something about Harry not biting. This must have been what he was talking again." Remus started to laugh.

"Wait till I get my hands on him, the big prat," growled Sirius. "He probably planned this. Him and Lily running off for a wild night on the town while we have to talk care of poor teething Harry." Sirius looked at Harry sympathetically. He was still crying softly. "Are you sure he's not in too much pain? I could run down to the apothecary and get something."

"No," said Remus firmly. "Definitely not. Lily would have told us if he needed to take something and besides, it's not a good idea to give kids so young oral analgesic potions. And he's okay, he really is. I reckon the swelling in his mouth won't get any worse for a few more days. Let's just lull him back to sleep so he won't feel it too much."

"Whatever you say, mommy." Sirius grinned, ducking the issue of _Magical Mothers_ Remus threw at him.

***

Remus smiled gently at the baby, rocking him back and forth, trying to lull him into falling asleep. Sirius stood by feeling helpless as usual. Why had he even agreed to come along, except to keep Remus company? It wasn't like Remus needed his help - he seemed to be handling it just fine without him. 

"Maybe I should just go," Sirius grumbled.

"What? Why? Something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Sirius said huffily. "But you don't need me to stay anyway. I just keep screwing things up."

"You're doing fine," Remus insisted. "Really. You just need to relax. Babies can feel it when you're so tense and they pick up on it. That's probably why he cries every time you come near him." Remus gestured to Harry. "Just stay calm. You want to try holding him?"

"Do you think I should?" Sirius asked nervously. "What if I drop him?"

"You won't. Just take it easy and support his head." As carefully as he could, Remus handed Harry to Sirius. 

Sirius took him and tried to relax but Harry continued to cry. "It's no use," said Sirius wearily. "Here. Take him. I don't think he likes me."

"Don't be an idiot," said Remus impatiently. "Just give him some time to get to know you, that's all. Now just hold him while I get some fresh diapers." 

Sirius put Harry down in his playpen and stared doubtfully at the teary baby. He was still crying. Poor kid, he must still be in pain. Too bad there wasn't anything they could do about it. Or was there?

Suddenly inspired, he crossed the room to the shelf of baby books and noticed a strange-looking book on the shelf that smelled faintly of baby oil. He pulled it off the shelf.

"What's that?" asked Remus, his arms full of diapers. 

Sirius looked at the book. He'd never seen any book like it before. It had a fluffy pastel pink front cover and a velvety blue back cover. Unlike other wizard book, there was no picture of the author anywhere. What kind of book had such a weird cover? He looked at the title: Persimmon_ Wexler's Magical Baby Tunes_. Underneath the title was a small caption: "magical lullabies absolutely guaranteed to help cranky and ill babies fall asleep fast!" 

"Hey, look at this weird book. Now I remember what Lily said - something about a book of magical lullabies that they must use to get Harry to sleep. This must be it." He handed Remus the book. "I remember now because Lily mentioned how the author was friends with her at Hogwarts. Do you remember anyone called Persimmon Wexler?" 

"I think so," said Remus slowly. "Yeah, now I remember. Short, thick glasses, very dark hair. Looked a little like James. I think she said she came from a big family, Lily said that she has a lot of younger brothers and sisters. She was pretty good at charms." 

Remus took a closer look at the book of lullabies. "That's what this is, a book of tunes with charms hidden in the words specifically made to calm babies! This is great! All we have to do is sing Harry some of these and he'll fall asleep in no time." 

But Sirius was beginning to feel doubtful. "He'll sleep because of some Hogwarts geek's overly fluffy book? I don't know, Moony. Why not just knock him unconscious with your wand instead?" Sirius snickered. It was bad enough knowing that he was no good with children. But now Remus was suggesting bringing in some little girl with too many siblings to save the day? Ridiculous! "We can get him to fall asleep ourselves, we don't need some know-it-all to do it for us."

"She was not a know-it-all. She was very sweet and very nice and quite brilliant, actually. I think she even edged you and James out on her Charms final." Remus smirked while Sirius glared at him. He hated any reminders that anyone had done better at him at school. No matter how devil-may-care Sirius pretended to be, Remus knew that Sirius had cared about doing his best at Hogwarts, especially with Dumbledore there."She sounds like a know-it-all to me. What's the big deal? We're handling the situation just fine." 

"Of course we are. He's only crying an _octave_ below what he started," said Remus sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. "Let's just try out the lullabies, okay? If it doesn't help, we'll do something else."

Sirius looked at him with that (now overly familiar) look of horror. "Wait a minute. Sing? We have to _sing_?" 

Remus grinned almost maliciously. "What's the matter, afraid to stretch your vocal cords? That doesn't sound like you at all. Don't you remember serenading Lily with your beautiful rendition of 'he's a prat, marry me instead' at her wedding?"

Sirius blushed a deep purple. Drinking too much wine at Lily and James's wedding had definitely not been one of his finer, or less embarrassing, moments. "That was different. It was er, um..."

"One of those moments that make life worth living," Remus chortled and laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes. 

"Whatever," Sirius said, eager to get off the subject as fast as he could. "Now what are we going to do about Harry? If we tell Lily he cried all night, she'll never let us get near him again."

"Not that that'd be so terrible in your case," muttered Remus.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing. Look, I still say we try the lullabies. Either we sing or he sings - and sooner than later, he'll sing loud enough for his parents to hear him all the way across town."

Singing, however, proved to be one thing neither of them was any good at, as they soon found out. Remus sang off-key and Sirius realized that he couldn't carry a tune to save his life. Harry didn't stop crying. If anything, he only seemed to be crying _harder_. 

"Why isn't he falling asleep? We've been singing this mush for an hour now!" In frustration, Sirius threw the book across the room. It bounced off the painting of James's father, who shot Sirius a dirty look.

Remus shot him another look. This was no time for Padfoot to be losing his temper. "We must be doing something wrong." He picked up the lullaby book and flipped through it.

"What could we be doing wrong?" Sirius grumbled. "We're singing all the stupid songs about all the stupid unicorns and rainbows and sunshine and cheery whomping willows-"

"Uh-oh." Remus did not sound happy. 

"What?"

"Er, Sirius, did you ever take any, oh,-"

"What?"

"Did you ever take any singing lessons?"

"_What_ are you talking about?" Harry was bawling louder than ever and Remus was talking about _singing lessons_?

"Well, er, your tone is a bit off-"

"My tone is a bit off!?" yelped Sirius. "What about you? You sound like a cross between a mandrake and a hyena!"

"Okay, okay, so neither one of us is exactly professional material, and keep it down, would you? You'll scare Harry," said Remus. "It's just that I found this." He thrust the book toward Sirius, who read: 

"Warning: lullabies must be sung properly on key in order to lull babies to sleep."

"So that's why he's not falling asleep. You've got a lousy voice!" Sirius glared at Remus, who glared back. 

"Well, at least I sound better than _you_, Britney," said Remus sarcastically.

"Who?"

"Some muggle," Remus waved his hand impatiently. "Forget it. Now what are we going to do?"

"Are you sure it's not his teeth? Maybe he's really in pain. You think we should get a hold of James and Lily?"

"They wouldn't have left him with y-, er, _us_ if Harry was hurting that much," said Remus. "I really think this book can work if we just know how to use it."

"Well, we can't. Our voices aren't angelic enough for it to be working." Sirius sneered. "What kind of author is this Persimmon person anyway? Can't even write a decent baby book?"

"It's not her fault the charm requires a _decent_ voice," said Remus pointedly. "I'll bet she can make the charm work just fine when she tries it. Hey, that's it!"

"What? What's it? You have an idea?"

"Yeah, look at this." Remus pointed to the author biography section. "It says here that she's a professional babysitter. She does this for a living. If anyone can make this work, it's got to be her - it's her book."

"So?"

"So maybe we should just get her to come over here and help us."

"I don't know. We don't even know her. We're going to just ask her to come over here and sing for us? And why didn't Lily just call her in the first place if she's so great?"

"Because I told them that they you were competent enough to do this," snickered Remus. "Look, she won't mind helping, she was Lily's friend at school. She's a professional babysitter; she'll know what to do. Let's just give her a try! It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

Sirius looked over at Harry. There had to be some kind of record for a baby crying that long. Except if there was, Harry must surely have broken it by now. He sighed. "What the heck. Let's give it a try."


End file.
